The obsession gay men have with being stereotypical displays of black women, while simultaneously putting down black women for the very mannerisms they’re eagerly copying, is fucking gross. And, the fact that challenging them on it somehow makes you homophobic and them somehow less racist because they’re gay is gross.
So this happened to me a few weeks in as well, I seriously feel your pain.
1. You are allowed to be ANGRY about this. There’s debate about this, but sex where one party violates a pre-arranged boundary negates consent. Which equates to rape. You did not agree to sex without a condom, therefore you did not agree to have sex with this person, and whether you were paid or not has nothing to do with this. Don’t let anyone tell you you are not allowed to be SO ANGRY at this dickhead. Additionally, he knew what he was doing, condom rippers are notorious and if you have the emotional strength for it, you should push your parlour to have him banned from the venue altogether.
2. It is normal for you to be distressed and upset, someone violated your trust and when you start sex work it’s scary and new and you are totally allowed to be upset and distressed and angry and irrational.
3. You’re fine. The chances of you being pregnant are miniscule, the chances of you having an STD are low, but those can be treated easily. The chances of you having contracted AIDS (which is obviously the scary one) are MINUTE. The transmission rate for unprotected vaginal intercourse (receiving) are 0.05-0.3% It is so unlikely that you even caught the most benign of things - you’re going to be fine.
Step 1: Go to the doctor.
Call a sexual health clinic (if you’re in Melbourne that’s Northside, and the MSHC) ad tell them you’re a sex worker and you had a client rip off a condom at work and you want an emergency appointment. They’ll probably be accommodating.
Get a full STD test with vaginal swab, examination and bloods. Don’t freak out. Gonorrhea and Chlamydia are by far the most prevalent and the require a simple course of antibiotics, after which, you’ll be good to go.
Step 2: Talk to the doctor about taking the morning after pill. Honestly, they’re going to tell you not to bother. If he didn’t come inside you… you’re not pregnant. The morning after pill isn’t good for you and they never recommend you take it for really low-risk situations, which this is.
Step 3: Get some peer support. Tumblr has some cool sex workers, so does facebook and various sex work orgs (there’s a list on my resources page).
Step 4: Take a few days off (if you can afford to.) Get a massage or go and have a big night drinking and dancing, whatever helps you wind down. Smoke some weed, get some valium when you go to the doctor if you’re really distressed.
Then, read a whole of bunch of sex-work positive stuff, listen to some Vixen Hour, watch some Belle de Jour, talk to happy hookers. If sex work was working for you, then don’t let this fuckwit ruin it for you.